Definition Of A Good Friend

With so much going on in the world, and so much anger, and so much toxicity, and so much tribulation, we can all use a friend. A real friend.  A true friend. I think we should take a moment and consider what friendship is.  We have friends on Facebook.  We have friends at work, on our teams, or in our groups, or sitting with us at church.  We talk about loving Jesus and others, about being involved in out communities.  But have you considered one fundamental question:  Can we truly love others, can we truly be Christ in our communities, if we are unable to be a good friend?  I think this is something worth considering.

Our Lord Jesus gave us the definition of a true friend when He said: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15). Jesus is the pure example of a true friend, for He laid down His life for His "friends." He eliminated the status that existed between “servant and master”. That is a true friend. What is more, anyone may become Jesus’ friend by trusting in Him as their Savior, being born again, repenting and receiving new life in Him.  And note, Jesus’ friendship is not dependent on the friendship being reciprocated!  Jesus is a good friend, even if you are not a good friend back.

Another example of true friendship in the Bible is between David and Saul's son Jonathan, who, in spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by his friend David. You will find that story in 1 Samuel chapter 18 through chapter 20.  Jonathan remained a friend to David despite it costing him his relationship with his dad, and regardless of David reciprocating.  Although, David did reciprocate the friendship and the two were very dear friends.

Proverbs is full of wisdom and advice regarding what it means to be a friend. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). There are several others too.   In these examples here, in order have a friend, one must be a friend.

The meaning of friendship is also found in Amos. "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3 ). Friends are people that get along, are of like mind, and care for each other.  Back stabbing, gossiping, jealousy, conniving have no place in a friendship.  Friendship brings joy, love, encouragement, kindness, and rest for the soul.

The truth that we can gather from all of this is that friendship is a relationship that is entered into by individuals, and it is only as good, or as close as those individuals choose to make it. Someone has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one with whom you can be yourself with and never fear that he or she will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete honesty and trust. A friend is someone you respect…and probably more importantly, a friend is someone that that respects you, not because you have “earned” it, but out of love. A friend is refuge during a storm, and a strong defender during an attack. That’s why when a friend hurts you, it hurts.  It really, really hurts.

Finally, what I would consider the ultimate definition of a true friend comes from the Apostle Paul and the Apostle John: "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8). "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends" (John 15:13). Now that is true friendship!  Examine yourself, and model Jesus Christ by being a true and loyal friend.  Be friend to all.  Stay close to Jesus.